There are certain things that I expect in life. Goodbyes are one of them.
What is good about goodbye? I don’t know. Sometimes, I still see in front of my eyes the day I walked from my college campus back to my rented flat countless times just to say goodbyes to every tree along the path (and confided in them about my wish to walk with my crush before leaving – I didn’t). Or the last meals I shared with my beloved friends before mumbling ‘I’ll be back’ – and until now I haven’t.
People are inherently interesting, I believe. However, despite this belief, I always find myself not knowing how to approach them, which is quite contradictory itself: I’m one of the people; therefore, I’m interesting; therefore, we share a commonality; therefore, we can be magically instantly connected.
I know I just oversimplified the gist of human relationships. My point is, it’s much easier for me to start talking at the very end when we knowingly admit we don’t know the next time we will meet again.
It is toward the end, I began to say hello and realized how many things there are to be done, undone, and redone. But we don’t talk about what-if’s. That life moves on. So, what now…?
However, maybe sometimes there is a good in goodbye?
I practiced yoga for sometime. I really liked to take classes from a particular instructor. Although we only got to know each other for a few weeks, her teachings spoke to me. However, finals were coming, and I had to skip so many sessions, including hers, that when I finally returned to the studio, I was informed that that day was her last day teaching. The sad part was I took the class right before hers because I needed to head back to my flat earlier that day. We only exchanged a few words as her class was about to start. I thanked her. She thanked me. We wished each other luck.
It must be luck that I got to say goodbye and thank-you to her. Although we don’t keep in touch, her teachings remain with me.
Goodbye… Goodbye… I guess many things can happen in life and we can only make sense of them when we look back. I still want to meet many people again, be at many places again, talk to many trees again. However, because I have had to bid farewell to them, I have got to meet other people, be at other places, talk to other trees – though they can’t replace the formers, thinking of the serendipity to get to know each other, I feel encouraged that life changes – that while welcoming other new people, places, trees, whatever that are coming to my life, I still can cheer on for the day to meet the formers again.
It will take time… but eventually it will happen:)